Here we are, in the middle of another two week wait….in the middle of the Holiday season. I have so many emotions running through me right now. Two days ago I was sure I was pregnant. Extreme fatigue, cramping that seemed just right. Today I am convinced that I am not because I woke up feeling energetic, I have no pain in my breasts, and my cramps feel more like an upcoming period than pregnancy.
The truth is, I have no clue either way. All I am doing is driving myself crazy by googling every symptom I am feeling until I find something, anything, that proves it is a sign of early pregnancy.
I know my life will still be beautiful if this does not work, but I really hope this works. With every fiber of my soul I hope this works. I hope this works for me, for my husband, for our entire family that has been on this crazy fertility journey with us. I feel responsible of robbing everyone of a child, because it is my body that can’t seem to keep to keep a fetus alive.
I find out Friday. Until then, I will continue to struggle with keeping the hope alive.